The Subject
I chose to interview Christie Levin, my mom's mom, aka Grammie to me. Grammie was born in Vancouver, WA in 1950 to a upper-middle class white (Swedish and German to be specific) family. She grew up in West Seattle, a very nice bedroom community accross the bay from downtown Seattle. She left Seattle with my mom's dad, John Vigil the day she turned 18, but he left her and she raised my uncle and mom on her own in Olympia, WA. Her friends were hippies and drifters when she was a young woman, but she left most of that lifestyle in her past when my mom was still young. Grammie has had a very diverse life, from the affluent communities of Seattle to the hippie movement to the completely stereotypical "tea and cookies" grammie, and she has a very good memory. So I wanted to hear her take on her family. She also lives just down the street from us, which is convenient.
The Interview
I started by asking Grammie to tell me about the the oldest generation in her family that she actually remembered spending time with, and then worked my way down her family tree from there. I really didn't have to ask very many questions because she knew so much about her extended family, and she actually knew many of them very well personally. She would just begin talking about any and all memories she had and I would take notes on what I needed. It was fun hearing about her family, my family, especially the older relatives like my great-grandparents.
Akward Moment...
It did get akward when I asked about family members she doesn't keep in contact with, as I expected. She has not spoken a word to John, my mom's dad, since he left and he has not been a part of any of our lives. Grammie just completely left him out and said that she keeps doesn't avoid contact with any family members, because to her he is not family. I didn't get any information about his side of our family from her, because technically, they don't matter. I think I might have gotten nore specifics about her family if we weren't related becuase there would be less assumed information, especially about her kids (namely my mom). It felt a little silly when I was asking her to tell me about relatives that I already know so well.
What Ties the Family Together
Our family is very close with extended family. Cousins, aunts, great aunts, married-into relatives, 1st cousins once removed, are all familiar with each other and will spend holidays together. I have definately noticed this growing up, and Grammie's information affirmed that it's been that way since she was a little kid. I also noticed that there was a definate emphasis on maternal family lines, which I never really realized until our interview. Grammie was closest with her mom's parents, namely her mom's mom, my mom was closest with Grammie's side of the family, obivously since she never really knew her dad, it just trickles down that most family ties revolve around the women. All the family units that Grammie could remember were average sized or small, usually with 1-4 kids, but fmaily always felt big to her because of how close the whole extended family is. There are no ethinc or social divides in the family; John was Mexican, Grammie's brother's wife is Jewish and the rest of the family is Catholic, her son's wife is from Switzerland, but Grammie, nor anyone else she could think of, really thought much of race/culture as a dividing force.
Who's the Favorite?
I would consider myself to be close with both my mother and father's sides of the family, including extended family. But I am much closer with Dad's family because they are the closest. My mom and her brother were the first in there family to not end up settling in the Pacific Northwest, so I really only saw her relatives when we had our annual vacations to Seattle.Grammie didn't move to my hometown until I was in junior high. My dad's family, however, is alomost all in California. His parents have only lived 45 minutes away my whole life, his two sisters also live close, and my dad's aunts, unlces, and cousisn all live in Southern California. So I just grew up spending more time with them.
Those Levin Women!
For Grammie's side of the family, it's hard to say who the movers and shakers in the family are. It's always seemed pretty equal as far as I can tell, but then again that whole side of the family seems to all have an aversion to change so it is hard to tell who makes things happen. Extended family, while close, does not seem to affect any decisions made by the household family units. Husband and wife seem to have equal say in what goes on, too. This is probably becuase Levin women seem to be well known for independence. It's been that way since my great-great-grandma Helen struck out on her own in the 20's after an abusive marraige all the way down to my spunky mom.
Come One, Come All!
People that marry into Grammie's side of the family are instantly welcomed in as if they've been there the whole time. Hospitality is HUGELY important to the Levins, so lone friends wre always in and out of Grammie's house, which probably made new family members seem not so strange. Like I said earlier, strength and a kind of fiesty attitude seemed to be looked up to in the women in our family. But gender roles are fairly balanced. Grammie was a single mom, her sister never married and is a successful buisness woman, and her youngest brother has wife that stays at home with their two daughters. Nothing is really expected of family members based on their gender in Grammie's family, or my immediate family. We just are who we are and that's that and no one really thinks much of it.
I <3 my Family
I realized that I have taken for granted how open and loving my family is. It doesn't take much for people to become part of the family, and it sure takes a lot for you to not be a part of it any more. Grammie's closeness with her greater, distant relatives showed me where the emphasis on any and all family teis has come from in our family and I really appreciate it. I know I'll always have a home to spend Christmas in, and I know that they will be supportive of being myself. And for that i am truly grateful.
I enjoyed reading your post and especially liked how you divided your sections up and made a unique title for each section. I think that it is wonderful that your Grammie was able to remember such details about her family. I interviewed my dad and he had a lot of trouble remembering things. It is great that you are close with both your mothers side of the family as well as your fathers side. I wish I could be closer to the family on my mothers side, but they just keep to themselves and spend most of their time with their individual families. It is great that your family has a large amount of hospitality and welcome others into the family without judging. I enjoyed reading about your family. Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteHey Jordan!
ReplyDeleteI actually really liked reading your post too! I think it was a great idea to choose your grandmother because you were able to hear about your great-relatives. I was wondering though did you feel a shift in your comfortableness if your grandmother mentioned any deaths in the family? I also like that all genders are treated equally in your grammie's household, but do you think this is because of the environment and culture she was born and raised in or do you think there are other external factors like the variation in kinship statuses (i.e. one of your grammies sister not being married, your grammie herself single)?
No, talking about deaths in her family seemed normal. Most of her family, even one of her siblings, have already died and while it is sad, it's a part of life we're all used to dealing with now. No one that she mentioned died tragically young though, most lived full lives so it's a little easier to accept.
DeleteI also think that the fact that Grammie and her sister are single is a product of the environment they were raised in with both genders being treated equally. Had they been in a household with more rigid gender expectations, they might have settled and married. Grammie's grandma, who she was very close with, was mistreated by her father and first husband so I think she just made sure her daughter and granddaughters wouldn't stand for being treated as anything less than equal.
Thanks for the feedback Joseph!
First of all, I really like how you organized your post, with the headlines dividing key points you wanted to emphasize. It made it very readible and easy to follow and understand.
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point in terms of a possible advantage to interviewing a stranger. Yes, if someone unrelated and unknown to your grandmother might have been able to get more information from her regarding your grandfather. Someone unfamiliar with her story might have been more inclined to ask further questions and less inclined to back off what you know to be sensitive areas. There are upsides and definite downsides to interviewing friends and relatives.
Good work.